When There Is No Right Or Wrong

This week I want to talk about a theme that sometimes comes up for clients in session.

There are moments when we are being presented with a decision to make, a 2 of wands kind of moment where it’s X or Y. Often times I notice clients want a bit of a full scope of each option; What they can expect overall, their pros, and their cons. What I’ve noticed is, when they are still indecisive it’s usually because they are looking for which option seems overwhelming “bad”.

Let’s say we’re talking about work. Option A is to move to a new city for this opportunity, money making will flow easily, you’ll be settled in a season, and the only thing that you’ll struggle with is the social etiquette of a new city so maybe having a hard time making community due to communication stuff.

Option B is to climb the ranks in your current industry, it’ll take 2 months of back and forth to fight for a promotion, a month after the promotion you’re working ethic will be tested, and lastly by the end of the season you’ve actually received a raise and have become well acclimated to the job and now have more flexibility.

One thing I personally notice in sessions (being that this is how I see the world functioning under this law ohdee polarity) is a root issue. Here a client would then ask me “which one is better?” Neither is better than the other because the challenge is the same. Start over with lack of community due to struggle in communication, but more ease in finances immediately or combat communication immediately, adjust to a new work flow, and then find ease in finances in the same place you’re already used to. Communication and adjustment are still the challenges they will show up in slightly different avenues, the blessing of ease in finances is the same as well.

This is where i have to highlight there is actually no wrong or right answer, in moments like these it is better to put emphasis on your subjective experience. Of course I would also say some challenges are for the betterment of self (becoming a more confident communicator and allowing yourself to be flexible in order to get stability) so how you chose to do that doesn’t matter because it will still have to be done.

Your deciding factor shouldn’t be “how can I avoid this overall challenge to get to the reward” or some irrationale fear of choosing the wrong thing, instead it should be; Do I truly want to start over in a new city? Would it be more gratifying to finally stand up for myself at work and make more money in this company? What would make me more happy despite the hurdles? In order to be aligned you need to be able to genuine introspect on what your principles, values, and goals are in the moment. There is nothing in this world that can happen without even exchange or sacrifice, you of course get to set this price about what you’re willing to settle for, but you cannot get more with being prepared to hold more or initially ‘losing’ some to make space for more.

Anyways, that’s all I wanted to share today. Right and wrong/Catch 22s aren’t always and underlying part of decision making. Choosing what you want and being clear or why will always be points of reference to reinforce your decision making skills. And if you can’t find your answer immediately sit with yourself while trying to have this conversation until you do. Try not to consider the variables you can’t control, it’ll make it easier to genuinely see what matters to you instead of choosing based on illusionary circumstances.